


Stuck Together

by Salsaboi



Category: Charlie the Unicorn - Fandom, Llamas with hats - Fandom, Marshmellow people
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other, Please Don't Hate Me, Purely fucking around, Very OOC, there's probably gonna be blood and guts, which is a given with these web series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24629353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salsaboi/pseuds/Salsaboi
Summary: This is an au in which the Characters from some of Filmcows web series are all human and have to tolerate one another.
Relationships: Carl/Paul (Llamas with Hats), Cecil/Frey, White/Pink
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Charlie has no fucking idea

The jobs Be and Lial were assigned were never easy, after all they were the ones that were called in to deal with finding and killing people the Boss’s normal operatives couldn’t handle. Which was rare. They were the best in the business, known for their proficiency. So they were both used to near impossible tasks, but recently tracking and sniping had become more difficult to do. Something always went wrong, something otherworldly was clearly out to spite them. This thought came to both at the same time as they stared into the hazel eyes that had striking similarities to a burning inferno.

Be and Lial didn’t work for just one person, but the man that towered before them was the one that employed them the most, and was very generous in paying them. The man radiated power, his posture and speech both intimidating and brilliant, his clothing was clean and slick, no blemishes or signs of wear could be seen. He was often loud when he spoke so the silence that filled the room after Be had announced another failed attempt was a clear sign that they were fucked.

“....Again….”

Baby blue suit top and pastel pink striped vest stood shoulder to shoulder, glowering at the floor. Yet another failed attempt at killing the info dealer. A bug had infiltrated their bosses operations and now had enough information that could end him if it was ever released.

“What attempt is this…. what, the fifth? I’m starting to think you weren’t the right people for the job.”

Silence had not only made itself comfortable, but was now laughing and throwing metaphorical popcorn at the back of both Be and Lials heads. Mortification of failing their boss for the umpteenth time now and having their reputation as hitmen dangle from a string, colored their cheeks.

Finally their Boss turned his fiery gaze away from the two men and to the window that overlooked one of the many gardens on the property, beautiful marble columns lined the garden giving a mystic and fantisfal feeling when one gazed upon it. A feeling of calm swept through the bosses mind, as an idea emerged that would benefit him greatly. “If you were anyone else I would have you both shot before you could make it off my property, but,” He sighed “ Of all the years I have done business with you two, this has been the only time you’ve screwed up. So I’ll give you one final offer, a chance to redeem yourselves. He turned his head, his gaze demanding utter obedience as he spoke.

“Since you haven’t managed to kill him yet I want you to keep an eye on him. I don’t care how you do it but he is to never leave your sight. Any information you get from him you are to report it to me.”

The man could see from both Lial and Be’s expressions they weren’t pleased with this at all, but before they could make any verbal objections the man raised his hand continuing, “I only need six weeks to make the stolen data irrelevant. If you follow through with these orders without flaw I will let you go quietly with no damage done to your reputation, but if you choose to walk away from this job I’ll make sure you never get another one.”

The tension that was previously there spiked as Be scoffed “Those are shit options---oof” Lial slammed an agitated elbow into Be’s stomach.

As he smiled at the man before them, “But it’s a deal.”

A grin spread across the bosses face, pleased with the outcome.

“Excellent! Well it was a pleasure doing business with you boys.”

The Boss made a wave with his hand summoning a servant of his to see Lial and Be out.

“Get to it, there’s no time to waste!” a ‘Yes sir’ was murmured back in depressing unison, as the servant quietly ushered them out of the room.

Be and Lial were led outside the mansion, the solid oak doors of the mansion closed behind them. Realization finally dawned on the two idiots.

Anger and dread began to loom over them as they walked down the elaborate front garden towards the entrance gate.

“Fucking fuck,” Lial huffed running his hand threw his hair in exhasperation “We blew up a fucking building! How is that son of a bitch still alive.”

Be shrugs, fidgeting with his baby blue cufflinks, agitated; “Well maybe if you hadn’t been so adamant about going to Ihop we would’ve fucking caught him escaping.”

“Well I’m sorry for being fucking, hungry!” By this point Be and Lial were bickering profusely as they passed through the golden entrance gates of their bosses house.

“We’re in hot shit now, how the fuck are we supossed to keep an eye on him and kill people.”

“I don’t know Lial, how were we supossed to do our jobs when we were eating at fucking IHOP!”

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t see you complaining when you were deepthroating pancakes!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The “bug” that had managed to escape from death's grasp, now sits on a worn wooden stool. A roll of gauze being slowly unwound as the man contemplates the events that had transpired the night before. The two cotton candy psychos had upped their schemes out of frustration and desperations, having blown up an entire building. He had barely managed to escape, jumping out of the 4th story window in a dumpster below, shielding him from most of the blast. The dumpster had been thrown across the parking lot having caused him some major bruising and maybe some cracked bones, but alive. However, because of injuries, leaving the scene without getting caught was nearly impossible and was almost certain he had been seen at some point. It was only a matter of time before he was getting chased again, and he wasn’t sure how far the two hitmen were willing to go.

“-Ah, fuck!” The sudden jolt of fiery hot pain ran through his body, yanking him out of his thoughts. Grumpy, he turns to glare over his shoulder at the person tending his injuries. Paul, a brunette who now looks very fed-up, sits behind the bug tending to the wounds that covered his body.

Too focused on a particularly deep cut to look up as he speaks, “Sorry Charlie, the cuts’ deep and if not cleaned right will really cause you problems.”

Paul straightens his posture and turns to thread the needle. “And unfortunately we don’t have any more anesthetic, so you’re gonna feel it.”

There’s a tired grunt of acknowledgement before Charlie decides to continue with his contemplative fidgeting.

After about an hour of mending, Paul gently pats Charlie on the shoulder, “Ok, you’re good. Remember no-,”

“No showers for 48 hours, yeah I got it. It’s not like I shower anyway.” Paul scrunches his nose in disgust and squints at Charlie, who gives him a cheeky grin in return.

Paul scoffs before turning away to clean the rest of the tools that littered the kitchen island. Chuckling Charlie gets up from his seat and stretches paying mind to his injuries before heading towards the hallway.

Bright strands of moonlight gave the darkened hall a peacefully surreal appearance. The occasional burst of white and yellow would appear as a car drove by, leaving a lonely feeling behind. The town house was relatively large having eight rooms with only three being filled. Even then, TM was out more often than not, doing something so it was usually just him and Paul in the house. They had talked about the possibility of renting out the remaining rooms, but that wasn’t exactly easy to do due to Charlie’s line of work and the mysterious injuries that often showed up on TM.

The assault of thoughts continues, as Charlie makes way to the door at the end of the hall. Entering the room Charlie begins to shuck off his clothes as he makes a b-line for his bed. Collapsing onto its plush surface before giving into the pitchblack comfort known as sleep.


	2. Charlie is visited by his sleep paralysis demons

Darkness was always something that was a comfort for Charlie. It was peaceful, and it was easier on his eyes. The black out curtains that covered the windows of his room protected him from the harshness of the outside world. Keeping him hidden from those who wanted him dead. The peaceful energy in the room was shredded as Charlies curtains ripped open, the afternoon light bearing down directly onto his face. Jarring him from his deep sleep. 

“SHIT-” he snaps awake.

His curtains are open...wait fuck, his curtains are open. It isn’t Paul, he would never wake him up. So, who the fuck opened his curtains?

“Charlie~! It’s three in the afternoon, you lazy fuck. Why are you still in bed?” A mockingly sweet voice lets him know exactly who’s here.

“Yeah! Seriously, we knew you were a slob, but really? Ooh, are you nocturnal? That explains why we never see you around town when everyone is actually being productive!” A similar voice chimes in.

The bed continuously dips as someone bounces on his bed, clearly trying to get him up and out. He groans, pulling the covers up to nose, trying to blink away the haze from his eyes. He doesn’t need clear vision to recognize the disgustingly bright figures. The pink blur is much closer than the blue one.

“Oh! You are awake!” the pink one leans in until he’s barely an inch from Charlie's face. Hot breath tickling his cheeks.

Charlie recoils, scooting back as far as he can, only to feel the headrest against his back. 

“How the hell did you two get in here?!” he shouts, feeling all his exhaustion from yesterday coming back. 

“The roof, silly~. You might want to lock that door in the future.” The blue ones looking out the window, with his hands on his hips as he looks at the yard below. 

The roof? Shit, he never does lock that door... but it’s not possible to get up there from the outside. Not even the fire escape reaches the roof. Wait...locked doors..wasn't his bedroom locked? From Charlie's position he can tell the doorframes split. A sigh escapes Charlie as his brows furrow. He's gonna have to fix that, wonderful. 

“Yeah..sorry about your door. We couldn’t find a key and we had to get in somehow.~” The pink one comments, switching from being on all fours to a sitting position besides Charlie. His limbs splayed out across the bed and ignoring the albinos personal space, a pleased grin on his face. 

“You really didn't.” Charlie grumbles, moving his hand to rub the bridge of his nose.

“What's that? You want us to introduce ourselves? I’d be happy to, Charlie!” He jumps off the bed and scampers towards the window to his practical twin.

He spins the blue one around, giddy on his feet eagerly clutching him by the shoulders, “This is Be, and I’m Lial! We are not twins, and not related in case you want both of us at once. Or imagine us as that, I dont give a shit.”

The colors of blue and pink begin to finally begin to focus and Charlie can clearly see the two men standing before him. The one he’s been calling ‘Blue’ is dressed head to toe in a dazzling in a black suit. His expression is nearly stoic, his mouth drawn into a taut line and his posture guarded. However, beneath Be’s eyes glisten with a myrth like mischief. The ‘Pink’ one looks like he just finished his shift as bartender at a strip club a few blocks down. Donning a vest and tie with knee-high combat boots, paired with shortie gloves. The vibe he radiates is the exact opposite to the other though, a bundle of pure energy. The smile on his face...isn’t right though.

Charlie rolls his eyes shifting underneath the blankets in order to start getting up.

“Yeah, cool, now why the fuck are you in my house? You two literally tried to kill me yesterday.” he places an emphasis on his words. 

“Yeah, about that..” Lial trails off, his eyes shifting to the side as he tilts his head mock innocence. 

“What happened yesterday doesn’t fucking matter. What is important, however, is that we’re here to make amends.” Be smiles walking over and putting his hand on Charlie's shoulder preventing him from going any further. 

“Yeah, we want a truce, Charlie!” Lial chimes.

Together, they look nearly identical, if it weren’t for their color palettes. If it weren’t for their track record, he might have considered listening to them. But he’s not gonna give in that easily.

“Truce? Fuck no, if you’re going to try to kill me, just do it. Don’t force me to go along with your fucking shenanigans.” He pulls the blanket around him closer, his body telling him to get as far away as possible at this point.

We’re serious. You won't be a target anymore. In fact, we’re here because we’re targets now.” blue gestures to nothing, moving his hands excessively. 

“Wait, what?” Charlie nearly drops his defense completely hearing that.

“Yeah! Our whore of a boss isn’t pleased with the fact that we failed to kill you, so now we’re on his hit list. It fucking sucks!” Lial whines.

“So because of it, we wanna stay with you.” Be shrugs.

“What the fuck?! You two barge, no-, break into my house after trying to kill me several times. And you have the gall to ask me if you could live here?”

“Yeah, what’s the problem?” Be cocks an eyebrow at Charlie, titling his head to the side.

“Oh, please~ Charlie! We have nowhere else to go, you’re our only hope! Let’s forgive and forget!” Lial throws himself onto the albinos bed, and flails his limbs. 

Charlie hisses, pulling away from him. There’s still bruises from yesterday, from them trying to kill him yesterday.

“Yeah maybe I’d do that if it hadn’t happened fucking yesterday.” Charlie scowls at Lial, his tone unforgiving.

Lials grin falters, but before he can come up with anything Be interjects. “We’ll pay rent.” 

Charlie’s mood lightens slightly, money is good. “...How much?”

“How’s this for a down payment?” Lial leans over the foot of his bed pulling a duffle bag onto the bed and into Charlies lap.

It’s not warm and squishy nor does it smell, so no organs and anything once living. It’s weighted, but not incredibly heavy. It seems fine to open this at the very least. Charlie zips it open, being greeted with stacks upon stacks of $10,000 cash. Each stack amounts to that, and there has to be at least 30 of them total. 

“And we can talk about monthly later.” Blue a pleased smirk gracing his features. 

Fuck. It’s a lot of cash, which wouldn't hurt to have right? Charlie looks at both Be and Lial. Both are watching for his next move, but they don’t appear to have any weapons on them. Charlie sighs, knowing that his decision will probably fuck him over in the long run. But New York upkeep and rent wasn’t cheap and knowing that They could get in whenever could be a risk to Paul's safety. At least this way, Charlie would be able to keep an eye on them. Now the only thing to worry about was explaining everything to Paul. 

Charlies just groans again, “Fine, you can stay. But I’m picking your rooms.”


End file.
